I WON!

Back in September, I went to a "baby shower" at the zoo that Fisher Price hosted for just any mommies-to-be.  It turned out to be mostly a presentation on how they teamed up with Sherwin Williams Paints and the Container Store with their new lines of products so they all match.

I got a little bit of swag while I was there -- a lip balm, a hand sanitizer, a teething ring -- and I entered their contest.  The grand prize would have been their entire line of new products and I think gift cards at the other stores.

Yesterday Marti called me at work to ask me what I ordered from Mattel.

???

I didn't order anything, but there was a big box that had just been delivered to me.

It wasn't ticking, so I told him to open it.  ;)

Inside was from Fisher Price.

http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Newborn-Rock-Play-Sleeper/dp/B002M77N22

Turns out I won first prize!  It's not the grand prize, but I didn't expect anything, so this was very nice!

Weight Gain

When I first got pregnant I gained a bit of weight, but then lost it.  It scared the shit out of me, but now that she(?) is moving around, I am ok with the lower weight.

I had been holding steady for a while, but now I've pretty much lost another little piece of my previous gain.  I have a fairly obvious pregnant belly and the "girls" are getting a little more attention these days, if you know what I mean, but my weight is really just one pound higher than it was when I got my positive pregnancy test.

I just wish I could remember how I gained with Abby.  I know my end weight with her, but how I got there is a complete mystery to me.  I tend to think I gained more with her right off the bat, but I can't verify that.

I'm not fighting this.  I'm kind of glad, and my OB/GYN is pleased as well.  I just find it funny that my belly is sticking out so far (relatively), yet I've only got one more pound than what I started with.

I don't feel like I eat too little.  I don't throw up.  There's no reason for this.  It's just one more of those things that's probably overdrawing my Karma Credit Account!  I'm a lucky girl.  I know this.  Am I lucky enough to be one of those that barely gains and walks out of the hospital in her old jeans?  Be still my heart!  There's no way -- after leaving the hospital a bloated, "cankled" mess when I had Abby -- that I expect this, but a girl can dream, right?

Yup, That's the Baby Alright!

What I suspected was movement over the course of the last week has increased and clarified, so we're right on schedule with feeling this baby move in the 17th week - just like with Abby.

I did, however, think I would feel it earler because I knew what I was waiting for this time.

No such luck.

I'm OK with that though.  I like what I'm feeling now and I'll take what I get.  It is something I never thought I'd feel again, and it sends my heart to the moon every time I feel those tiny nudges now.

Movement?

This may be it!  I think I am getting movement this week.

I had to stop and concentrate a couple times yesterday to see if I was feeling something, and then today it was easier to feel something, but I'm still not absolutely certain this is is.

With Abby, I felt it in the 17th week also, but she was my first.  I thought with the second you feel it sooner because you know what it is you're expecting.  Oh, well.  So much for that idea!

I'm pretty sure I'm feeling it now though.  I mean NOW!  As in RIGHT NOW!  How funny.  She (?) knows I'm talking about her.

Quick Timeline (just for kicks)

I was going through some pictures tonight and saw the pictures from the day I cleaned out the garage and we donated most of the baby gear.  Those pictures were dated April 25th.  It was probably one of the hardest/worst days of my life.  I was looking in the mirror (figuratvely speaking, of course) and trying to get myself to admit that I was over 40, I had a long history of losses, my husband didn't even WANT another baby, and it just wasn't meant to be.

Amazingly, less than 2 months later (June 17), Marti agreed to give "Project Sibling" one last try!

Even more amazing is that after years of some very serious on-again off-again trying, we were able to make it happen this time within a couple weeks of making that decision.  (Estimated date of conception is around July 4.)

What is more amazing still is that I am still sitting here with a live baby in my belly.

I look back on where we've been and what we've been through (both the undeserved and the self-inflicted suffering) and it just doesn't seem real that this is what happened!

As if that's not good enough, I am having a wonderful pregnancy.

Surely my Karma Credit Account must be overdrawn by now!!!!

Maternity Pants

I wouldn't say I need too much of the extra room yet, but they are a bit more comfortable as of this weekend, that's for sure!

I also discovered that, while the wide elastic bands come in handy for the extra room (which I will need more later than now), the bands serve a dual purpose - for me, at least.  When you're pregnant, you pee.  A lot.  And when you have to go, you have to go.  Elastic waistbands make for a QUICK escape when the time comes to make a run for it!

More than once I found myself wondering in a panic, "WHY did you wear these (non-maternity) pants when you KNOW the zipper sticks????"  Luckily there were never any catastrophes, but it was close enough that I am going to just give up and go with comfort -- and peace of mind.

BRING ON THE ELASTIC!!!

Still Tired

I was talking to a friend at work today about mom stuff and she said she's tired.  Me, too - and I'm not even taking care of an infant right now!

Usually during the day I'm pretty good, but I sure do hit the wall when I get home.

How am I going to make it through 9 whole months?  I'm not even carrying that much extra weight AT ALL yet.  How exhausted will I be when I have to waddle everywhere I want to go and sleep is next to impossible due to being uncomfortable?

Even more concerning -- how will I function on the little sleep newborns let you get?  If all goes well, I will nurse this one, so Marti can't even really help me at night with feedings and I will be SUPER sleep deprived.

It makes me tired just thinking about it.

I've Got Guts

Sometimes I feel like my belly is getting huge, and other times I feel like I barely show at all.  I'm quite certain it changes.  Is that nuts?

Also, after I eat, it HURTS!  Not too badly, but still...

I can feel my abs stretching out to make room for my guts.  I know it's not making room for baby yet because baby is not that big or high up yet.  I just have a lot of guts and they don't seem to get along well with my lungs.  They want out.

Sneezing

Sneezing hurts.

A lot.

Sneezing doesn't hurt so much if I have enough time to curl up into a ball first.

That is all.

I'm Such a Wimp!

The whole "Bring it on" thing?  Not so much today!

I got to work and had some oatmeal from my food stash.  It's not the end of the world, but we have a mouse in the office that has been getting into our stuff this week, and he has crossed the line into my desk as of this morning.  He only chewed up the corner of a bag of popcorn, but the THREAT of him getting into all my food (that I NEED to have around due to low blood sugar issues, and now pregnancy) is enough to piss me off and also make me feel somewhat helpless.  I NEED to have food there, but now I MUST get rid of it.  Maybe I can keep a box of stuff in my car, but it's still Arizona, and stuff WILL suffer from the heat.

So, that deflated my incredible mood this morning right out of the gate.

Then, after the oatmeal, for some unknown reason, I got a belly ache and a massive headache.  I ended up on the "sofa" in the ladies room for a while because I felt like I was going to puke, and if I didn't puke, I was definitely going to cry.  Either way, not a pretty picture at my desk.

My boss came in after a while to check on me, and just talking made me start crying.  (Like I didn't see that one coming!)  I finally asked her to leave because even though she was trying to help, the crying was making my head hurt worse.

I just wasn't getting any better, so, eventually, I just went back to my desk and packed up.  I was homeward bound and it was a GORGEOUS day today, which made me feel EVEN WORSE because I was going to miss it.  What a waste of a great day!

Instead of finishing my day at work, I went home.
Instead of enjoying the nice day, I went to bed.

I feel like I've missed out today.  I don't feel strong of mind or body.  Pregnancy kicked my ass today and left me a sniveling mess.

Maybe once I pick Abby up, I'll feel better.  I promised her I'd take her to the library yesterday, but she got in trouble, so it has to be today now.  (I have stuff to return.)  I hope it's still nice out when I finally creep from my cave.

Any Ideas?

I want to give Abby a present before the baby gets here that would be special enough to keep forever probably, yet not so special as to break the bank.  ;)  Any ideas?

It should symbolize her being my baby now and always, and that having a sibling will never change that or how I feel about her.  I also think maybe since she will be 5, she will be able to appreciate something "older" that can symbolize her sort of coming of age in that she will be the big sister instead of JUST our little baby.  I'd like it to celebrate HER change - even though I also want it to say nothing is changing.  (This is making me think of a friend who wanted her hair "short but still long, and for the girl to cut it, but don't touch it!"  LMAO!)

Does that make sense?

Anyway, I have lots of time to look around before then, but thought I'd throw it out there to you guys in case you have any ideas.  If you see something specific, a link would be MUCH appreciated!!!!  Until then, I'll keep shopping around - because unless we're talking shopping for auto insurance, shopping never sucks!  ;)

I'm Impressed!

So, I was sitting at the computer and Abby brought me her drawing.  It's the baby Doppler!  Keep in mind that I use it MAYBE every 3-4 days for a minute at the most.  Sometimes she isn't even there when I use it, although she has used it twice to find her own heartbeat.  Also keep in mind that it is put away right now and she is not looking at it.  She has not seen it since Sunday when her great grandmother called and I let her hear the heartbeat on the phone.

And, in case you missed it, here is the original: 

Not bad!  She even put the little dots for the speaker!

ETA:  I forgot to mention what prompted her to draw the Doppler.  She found the box it came in -- an unmarked cardboard box.  She likes decorating boxes and punching holes in the cardboard with a pencil and asked if she could have the box.  I told her I wanted to keep it to put the Doppler away when we were done with it, so she got some paper and started drawing.  That's how my little artist chose her subject.

Happy "Time to be Pathetic" Week!!!!!

I guess I'm at that point where my hormones are raging and I can cry at the drop of a hat!

A couple nights ago, I was so tired I couldn't even muster up the energy to microwave a frozen dinner for myself.  Marti did it for me when he got home and in the process of telling him how incredibly tired I was, I started feeling weepy.  Then he cracked a little joke about something unrelated and at the time, it was SO hilarious to me that it made me laugh.

Note to self:  when you're on the verge of crying already, DO NOT start laughing!

Of course, I started bawling like a baby and had to go to bed. 

At least it wasn't like the time when I was pregnant with Abby where I was so SAD I started crying for no reason, and then at the same time I was laughing at myself for crying like that.  It was a truly disturbing moment for me to watch myself have!  I was feeling both the extreme sadness for whatever reasons, AND the hilarious mocking laughter directed at myself.  Until then I wasn't sure if split personalities really could exist, but I'm a believer now based on that brief exposure to my inner Sybil!

Then, last night, I came home to find the sweetest card on the counter, filled with shopping money and a certificate for a mani/pedi.  Marti made an appointment for me to go relax by myself this morning and told me to go pick some things out for myself at whatever shop I liked.  He also made reservations for a date for us tomorrow.  Guess what?  I cried.

And, finally, this morning I was on facebook and ran across a friend's post with this:

I'm not even going to say what happened after that.