That's Not Good...

Just a moment ago, I realized I forgot to eat dinner!  It wasn't because I was hungry, it was because I realized I never did dishes, so, had I not even gone downstairs, I wouldn't have even realized I never ate.

MAYBE it was because I was so full from lunch today???

Either way, I need to make sure I'm eating regularly.  I don't need to be passing out due to low blood sugar.  That's disruptive enough when I'm not pregnant.  I don't even want to think what waking up after passing out while pregnant must feel like!

I haven't been trying to NOT gain weight, but I haven't been gaining a lot of weight anyway.  Now I think I know why.  I knew I wasn't FAMISHED a lot of the times, but to flat out FORGET to eat?  That's not good.

We see the doctor the day after tomorrow again.  We'll see what she thinks of my weight at that point.  Last time it was all fine with them, so I'm hoping it's still fine.  I'm not too worried about it at this point.  Plus, there's always the fetal doppler which lets me hear the heartbeat any time I want to.  I really can't express how good it is to hear it's still there!  I really NEVER thought this would happen!!!!!  :)  I mean, we tried off and on over the past few years, but after everything, and after all this time, I just thought my time was up and any efforts would be futile or heartbreaking.  Who would have thought I'd make it far enough to think that this is really real?

Priceless (Timely) Comment of the Day

So, after last night's episode of crying over spilt milk, I found it incredibly amusing (yes, I'm sick that way) that a friend at work was inquiring about my "delicate condition."  Actually, that's not the amusing part.  The amusing part was his timely choice of words after I was upset about poor word choices I'd seen used in my medical records.

In his effort to continue the conversation in euphemistic terms, he continued his questioning with asking me when this "delicate condition" would "terminate."

Bwa ha ha ha ha!!!!

Actually, it stopped me in my tracks for just a half a second maybe as I stammered to remember the due date.  So, I guess it threw me for a moment, but after that I found it amusing just because of the sheer unfortunate timing of it.

No, I'm not going to spend my lunch hour in the restroom crying this time.  No worries.  I'm just going to put that one away with last night's "abortion humor" of a good friend who knows the best way to bring me out of a funk is to be as inappropriate as humanly possible.

Thanks guys for helping me find a better way around my issues.  :)

Bloody Nose ---- CHECK!

Got my first bloody nose tonight.  I think I got them much earlier with Abby, but I haven't looked it up yet.

Whatever.  Either way, I have one now.

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Edit to add:  Yup, just verified it was March 13, 2005 when I got my first pregnancy nosebleed.  That would have put me at 10 weeks, 2 days.  I'm 13 weeks, 5 days today, so I did remember it correctly.  This did happen earlier with Abby.

I just hope it doesn't happen as often this time.  It was kind of funny, but a pain in the ass last time!!!

Even Now: Still Not Immune to It

Warning:  Emotional issues below.  Move along if you can't handle awkward -- or feel free to keep reading if you want a peak inside the head of the paradox also known as the pregnant infertile woman.

One would think that with a 4 year old running around and another one on the way, I'd be happy.  Yet, when I inadvertently reminded myself of all my previous losses today, it all came flooding back, in spite of (almost) having everything I've ever wanted.

It shouldn't matter anymore, should it?  I shouldn't feel this way.  But it still hurts.

It doesn't really matter why, but I was looking through my medical records and was surprised to feel myself descending down that ugly spiral.

I also cannot get past the sting of the poor word choice that they use to describe infertility issues.  I'd forgotten about the actual label I'd been given:  habitual aborter.  Really?  Sorry Doc, but the only babies I've had removed from me were already dead or BORN living and STILL living.  Why do they have to use that term????  Oh, how that irks me still!

As much as I am convinced I am past the danger zone with this pregnancy and will soon have 2 under my roof, just as I longed for, it still does not erase what damage was already done to my heart in the past.  I'm sure being pregnant does nothing for my emotional strength to deal with this thing of the past, but honestly I'd rather find myself weeping over my husband spontaneously bringing me what I was not-so-secretly craving yesterday, or over his simple but kind gesture of going upstairs to get me a more comfortable change of clothes as soon as he walked in the door last week and found me collapsed in my work clothes still.

Sex of the Baby

During the NT scan, the tech asked us if we were interested in determining the sex of the baby.  Of course, we said yes, so she pointed out what she was looking at.

She said at this point in the pregnancy, what they look for is the angle of the "bits."  If it points up, they think boy, and if it points down, it's a girl.  The white line (kind of under the legs at the base of the belly) in this image is what she was looking at and it clearly is not pointing up, so she said she thinks it's a girl.  Of course, there's always the chance the guess is wrong, so we were warned to keep our receipts and not paint any nurseries yet.  But after we got home and I was watching the DVD, I think I also saw some of the traditional views that determine if it's a boy or a girl, and I think girl, too.  (The whole time I was thinking boy up until now!!!!)

Progesterone Supplements

Warning:  Vague TMI reference.

Done.  Yeah!!!!  Happy to not have to spend the money on them now that I'm in the second trimester, and happier still to not have to deal with the yuck factor once yesterday's moves along.  I'll leave it at that...

Pictures (and video?) from NT Scan

7:20 PM - Edited to Add:  Alright, I did it.  I loaded some still shots, but I still don't know how to add the dvd portion.

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I have a BUNCH of still shots from the scan last week and even a DVD of the whole thing but haven't sat down long enough to load them yet. Oh, and I have no idea how to load the DVD so that may take a while unfortunately.

Still shots coming soon. That's for sure.

Heartbeat Monitor

I got my fetal heartbeat monitor yesterday!  Yes, that's right.  The USPS delivered on Sunday.  I have no idea what that's all about, but I'm not complaining!

Anyway, with Abby, I rented one and paid every month.  I got a deal for $20 a month back then, but that same one is $45 a month now.  Plus, I'd still have to pay shipping on top of that, so you can see how it can add up over the course of a full term pregnancy.

This time, I learned from some moms online that there is a better option!  I went on Amazon and BOUGHT one for just $27 plus shipping!  

Sonoline B Fetal Prenatal Doppler


I opened the box and found the heartbeat right away, so I am totally pleased with this decision!!!!  I knew from last time that hair gel worked just as well as the special gel they sell with the equipment, so I just used that instead and saved some more money.

I just can't believe I own this little thing for about the cost of renting one for just a month!  (Shipping considered, of course.)

The Name of the Blog

I chose this name because I know having a second kid right now will bring all kinds of challenges.  I'm sure there are days that I will want to hide in a cave and never come out (I already feel that way sometimes!) but for now, I stand up to this little one and say BRING IT ON, SPAWN!

Sure, there will be that diaper smell in the house again because I know I'm too lazy to go outside to dispose of EVERY.SINGLE.DIAPER the instant a #1 or #2 escapes.
Sure, there will be no sleep for, gosh, how long did that phase last???
Sure there will be unfathomable amounts of laundry for such a little person.
Sure, we will miss out on many, many fun things we "could have done."
Sure, we will have to schedule "mommy and daddy time" - assuming sleep deprivation doesn't make us forget what that is.

But,

You will be loved.
You will make our hearts swell and sometimes break.
You will enrich our lives.
You will be appreciated.
You will make it all worthwhile.

No pressure or anything...  ;)

NT Scan - Bloodwork

Got a call from the geneticist and results were "negative."  Woo hoo!

At 41 I had odds of 1 in 50 for Down Syndrome before the test, but the test brought me to 1 in 350 or something like that.

Also, trisomy 13 and 18 were both in the 1 in 1000 or something like that.

That's good news!

My blog - my way :)

There are some days when I'm just too tired to post, but I really WANT to post.  So, I decided that for now, as much as I hate it, I am going to just post what I want to get out and grammar be damned.  I can always go back and edit later (and I'm quite sure you will see a lot of that as my energy increases!).

So for now, I will post in fragments just so I don't miss the boat and find I never posted anything when I realize it's too late and I forgot everything.

NT Scan

It's time!

I've officially entered the twelfth week of this pregnancy, we've "passed" our NT screening, and all immediate family members have gotten the news.  The blog is ON!

This is officially my first post, but I'll be going back and adding in a few items from before we went public in an effort to get as much down as possible.

For now, this post is about the NT scan today.

I guess I got confused on the time of my appointment and Marti almost missed it!  Thank goodness he was able to leave the instant he got the message and made it for most of the scan.  Even better was that the scan was a good one!

At nearly 42 years of age, Down Syndrome is a definite risk.  When she was finally able to measure the nuchal fold, I was VERY relieved to see measurements in the 1.7-1.8 range!  The geneticist later told us that anything under 2.0 is what they like to see and is considered normal.

Of course, there was the follow up blood draw, of which we will get the results Wednesday or Thursday, but I don't expect contradictory results there.

We also got to hear the heartbeat again and it was in the 175-185 range.  The baby was very active and not exactly cooperative in getting the measurements that were needed, but it was still good to see so much activity!  (Plus, I think this lack of cooperation prolonged the scan and allowed Marti time to get there to see most of it!)

We got the whole thing on DVD when we checked out and a CD of every image she stopped on for measurements or whatever.

Also, our tech, Katie, asked if we were interested in finding out the sex of the baby.  Of course we are!  She said based on the angle of the genitals in a profile shot, she guesses a girl.  On second look, when I was watching the video, I saw a few shots that confirmed her guess.  I'm feeling pretty strong about this prediction.  Woo hoo!


While a healthy baby is all I really want, a girl WOULD make things simpler in the long run.  This way we can just worry about doing girlie things with "the kids" instead of having to please one girl and one boy.  It will be easier to share our hours - of which we get precious few together - if our kids would both enjoy the same types of things.  (Just my luck, we'll get that girl, but she will be a TOTAL tom boy and HATE princesses and tea parties!!!!)

On a mostly unrelated note, DAMN MY LEFT INDEX FINGER HURTS!  She stuck me in the finger to get the blood for the follow up test and it hurts worse now than when she stuck me!  And a note to self, next time don't ask which finger they want.  You're a lefty.  WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!?!?  Every pen and pencil I touched today - not to mention this keyboard - was my mortal enemy.